I'm just happy Trey's in town. I've missed that kid. I love him to death! He lives in Arkansas, (lame) But he's moving back next year (YAY) and right now i REALLY want you guys to read this paragraph from an essay i got from Chellas that was written by Johnathan Ames. (comment and tell me what you think.)


There's this scene in Richard Yates' book Revolutionary Road, which is the most painful thing I've ever read. This neglectful husband has lost his wife to suicide. He goes to her closet and smells her clothes and for a moment he has her back, he can smell her, she's there, not dead and he feels all the love he had for her, the love which had been lost, and then this horrible intrusive neighbor is banging on the door, and the husband hides in the closet until the neighbor leaves, but the spell has been broken, he can't get his wife back, he tries, but he cant reconjure her and he's lost her for good now, and this second death is worse than the first.
So when I got off the bead, done crying. I waved my hand in that empty closet to see if it was real. To see if I had really lost something to precious, and my hand sliced thougth the air and I knew I had lost her and I went back to the bed and cried some more. Just recently I put some of my raggedy clothes in there and they look ugly. They look like me.